I’ve worked in Corporate America about 20 years and have been a mom just more than half of that. I have been insanely career focused for much of my life and to be honest, I struggled understanding working moms in my twenties while I was single and I struggled becoming a working mom in my 30s. Thankfully, I have had some amazing leaders along the way that have set excellent examples and have been amazing support systems. But this isn’t something that leaders are always focused on. For those struggling leading working moms today, here are a few things to help build a firm foundation. And really, important in building a solid foundation leading all humans.
Having a firm foundation with your team, as individuals, a solid level of trust, and good communication will set the tone for your interactions and help you lead with compassion and understanding. This foundation requires you to get to know your employee, and that working mom, because spoiler alert … there is no single formula for leading.
If you struggle knowing and understanding your employee, there is a simple RPM method that’s easy to follow if you don’t know where, or how to start. For those that dive into work right away during a conversation, or never get deeper than the weather, here are some areas to focus. Especially while many are working remote, it’s more important than ever to carve out time to be intentional about this. And it can be as quick as 2-3 minutes before your weekly one on one meeting.
R - Relationships. Who are their most important relationships with? Spouse, child(ren), parents, pets … Do you know their names, interests, major life events? Start with that. If you don’t know the basics here, dedicate time every week getting to know them as a whole person.
P - Physical Health. I’m not talking about prying into their deeply personal medical conditions, but take note when people share and it will clue you in where you can be supportive. Sometimes most pressing for someone is a family member’s physical health. Be aware of what they’re concerned with.
M - Mental Health / Mental Fitness. How are they, really? (If you’ve read the Jenna Kutcher book, you know!) For a working mom especially, this can fluctuate on the daily, or the hour! If you don’t know how to broach this, sometimes I’ll ask my team to share their greatest challenge from the week, it can be personal or work related, then their greatest win or silver lining. They can share as much or as little as they’re comfortable, but the more you hold that space for people, the more they’ll let you in. This is good to do as a team, and you can share yours as well. It’s an easy way to let them see you as a person, with struggles and challenges as well. Being appropriately vulnerable allows others to do the same.
By making it a regular practice to check in, recognizing them as a whole person, they will grow more comfortable sharing, and coming to you when they are struggling. We can either help them with options or solutions, or offer compassion when they need it most. This is really the starting point to have any other meaningful conversations to help them thrive.
What other tips do you have about building trust with your team by getting to know them and opening the door to deeper conversation?